Shreyas

Seer


The ULTIMATE personality test
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These break-up songs make sense again
and I really wish they didn't.
Sinatra's singing summer wind
and I'm thinking of the night we met.

Just one last time
can I hear you say?
"You're my little boy
I never want you to go away"

Where are you?
Please believe in me.
I'm not hanging up the phone
'til I hear you say,

"I love you.
I need you near."
Just give me one last chance
and I'll never let you down again.

Oh and what I wouldn't give
just to kiss your lips again,
to hold your hand next to my heart
and wake up with you in our apartment.

Just one last time
can I call you my sweetheart???
My best friend,
why do all good things come to an end?

I need to get my camera and go for a drive. I need to take pictures and get back to playing the guitar. I think it might help me forget, maybe remember, I don't know. I just wish...something. The days crawl, I die every night and hope to be resurrected in the morning...but it never happens. Happiness is what really matters right? All the love in the world can't replace true happiness. If only I were better...

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
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I wish I was talented.
I wish I could write.
I wish I could make music.
I wish I could sing.
I wish I was beautiful.
I wish I could be expressive.
I wish I didn't have so many issues.
I wish I had friends who really cared.
I wish I wasn't alone.
I wish I could move people.
I wish I was more accessible.
I wish I was part of something bigger than me.
I wish I was artistic.
I wish I was smaller.
I wish people would see me for who i am and not judge me by my issues.
I wish I was stronger.
I wish I was tranquil.
I wish I was truly happy.
I wish I was angry enough.
I wish I could walk tall.
I wish I could see the world.
I wish to grow old but never up.
I wish I was more insightful.
I wish I was more creative.
I wish I could sleep.
I wish I could wake up.
I wish I could see the world in a different light.
I wish I was passionate about something.
I wish I was truly alive.
I wish I could drive forever with no destination and nothing to do.
I wish people knew me.
I wish I was outspoken.
I wish I was less introspective.
I wish someone would ask me to stay.
I wish I could play in the rain.
I wish I could step out of the rain.
I wish I could reach the stars.

I Wish I Could Fly...

It's been forever, and this post won't be long sadly. I'm just coming on here to let everyone know that the new AFI cd will be out March 11th, 9 days before my birthday. Check it out, they are an amazing band and everyone should listen to them. Here's the banner advertising the new cd.

Go on over to the site and check it out.

Ok here we go, this is the second time i'm doing this cause it didn't work the first time. It's been about 2 months since i last updated so i thought i would share a little about what's been going on. The 4th of October was Erika's birthday, I took her to Outback Steakhouse(her favorite), and gave her the tickets to the Incubus concert that I had been holding onto for about a month. We went to the concert on the 19th and it was an AMAZING show, they really know how to get the crowd in the right mood. And even though Erika didn't want to stay after the show to meet the band it was a lot of fun. Also, i've been getting into the local music scene, and this new band Deadstar Assembly is kick ass. We are supposed to be going to a warehouse party on Halloween. Hopefully we will go, cause i'm looking forward to seeing them there. I just found out yesterday that Monette came down to visit her son because he had an allergic reaction to the anesthetic that they gave him when he went into minor surgery. I'm glad that he is doing well and that Monette is back home safely. Hopefully next time she's down it'll be under better circumstances and we'll be able to visit her and spend some time. Anyway...I really don't have much else to say, i'll update later when i think of other things that are going on. I always say that i'm going to keep up with this thing and i never do...

P.S. check out the Deadstar Assembly CD coming to FYE November 1st (I could be wrong)

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I just got back from walking the dog and I'm feeling very...creative. It was a quiet dark night out tonight, there was no moon to be seen anywhere. As I looked up at the night sky I saw a few clouds very hanging very low, almost bordering the sky. The rest of the sky was littered with tiny flecks of light we call stars. Stars are amazing things; burning for thousands of years, used for telling direction, making patterns, and ever inspiring. They looked like little specks of light scattered in a random pattern all over the blended dark blue background, almost like someone had thrown them carefully into place. As I walked a slight breeze blew breaking up and cooling this very humid night, when the wind came I could hear the sound of the gentle scraping of dead leaves on the ground and the rustling of the leaves on the trees. Strange how different the sound is; the leaves on the ground have a very cold yet comforting sound to them, while the leaves on the trees sound very alive and agitated. I took a moment to look at my dog's face when I came back, I noticed each and every hair surrounding her ice blue eyes. During the walk I noticed how she was walking down the street almost purposefully and yet playfully, exploring each and everything that she came across. I want to capture that feeling in something artistic, something that people will take notice of. I want them to look at it and feel the night like I did, to feel the uncertain hidden meaning behind it all. I don't know what the meaning is and I don't really think anyone does, but I know that people can feel it. I wish i could capture that somehow, but the only means of artistic release that I have is my camera and I'm not even good at that. I can capture people and scenes, but I can't capture feelings. I guess that's why I'm taking this class, I'm hoping that I'll learn. Though I'm suddenly afraid that I don't have that kind of talent in me, that I'll never be able to capture the feelings as I would like to or even remotely how I would like to. I can't draw, I can't paint, I can't write decent poetry, I can't write music, I can't play any instrument well. This is my last glimmer of hope that I really am creative and somewhat an artist, my last chance to do something that people will really take notice of and talk about other than, "That's a nice picture." I just hope that I don't fall short again and disappoint myself...

Your magical style is Magus.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

You are a vampire.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

I'm sitting here, bored and thinking about what the hell I'm going to do for the next month for money. I really only need money for gas, but there is no income and there won't be for about a month or so. I need something to do with my time, something that's constructive and not just sitting around doing the same thing day after day. I like getting up and doing things, AOL is getting amazingly boring once again, and I really have nothing better to do. Life is slow (at best) right now. My back hurts, I miss Erika. I need to get a membership at a gym, a 24 hour gym, that way I will have something to do. I need to be me, I wish i had done this earlier before i started listening to Tori. She screwed up my train of thought, I lost all my thoughts. I wish my thoughts wouldn't be so fleeting, I have a habit of thinking about something and then losing it after a few minutes of thought. Usually it's something that I would like to talk to someone about, someone other than Erika. It's not that I can't talk to her cause I can, and I do. These things are just something that I would like to get a more objective point of view without a connection exceeding that of friend. Someone that I could talk to about deep things for an hour or 2. When I start a conversation with Erika it's always over within minutes unless it's something that she brought up. She changes subjects in my conversations like she watches tv, constantly changing at any time, doesn't matter what's going on. I think that I started with the fleeting thoughts for that reason, no one ever seemed to want to listen to what I had to say. So if I think about them and lose them then I don't have to be upset that no one wants to talk about it. It's really not so hard being me, I just wish it was easier...

Which flock do you follow?

this quiz was made by alanna

i'm neutral apparently

What Goth Are You?

lol well that was a waste of my time

Well I really suck at keeping updated. Anyway, I finally got the Trust Co. cd, it is amazing. The lyrics and the songs are great, every single one of them. I can't go to Ozzfest, no money. :-( It's ok though, I'll survive. Well I've been thinking about something lately, I don't really feel part of the family at all. Zion is friends with quite a few of them and is known through the family, I'm not really known at all. When I don't talk to them for a while the ankh keeps me satisfied, like I'm really part of something, like I'm really accepted in this family. Truthfully the only people that know ABOUT me are Monette, Mehnea, M'kiel, X, and of course Corinth and my lovely Zion. When I talk to Monette or Mehnea, I am reminded of how much I'm not a part of the family. I've never spoken to X or much of the rest of the family at all. It's lonely, I hear things from mom and she tells me what's going on; about her conversations with M'kiel, Monette, Mehnea, X, SymRaine, Armand, Tati, and whoever else. I'm very much thrown back into reality and realize that I'm not part of this family, not only that, but I shouldn't be wearing this ankh. Don't get me wrong I love the ankh, and I feel that it was well worth the money, but I realize that it's really not my place to wear it. Reguardless, I will wear it proudly and be proud that I am part of this family. I will be sure to start making my presence known, hopefully well, and become accepted into this family on my own merits. I don't know how it will go but i'm never going to find out until i fully assert myself, and that's what I intend to do. Until then I need to get mom to train me, she's been slacking and so have I. I haven't been reminding her at all. Well that will be all for now, hopefully the next one will contain the rest of my thoughts of the night.

Look at this, I say that I need to keep up with this journal and I haven't written or even touched it for over a month. I really need to work on that. Today was a great day I spent all day with my baby and i had a LOT of fun. Tommorow is Megan's birthday, hopefully Plaster Castle and not the pool. Well i don't have much time right now, but i'll get back soon with the rest of what's been going on.

10

I act like I'm 10.
This test was brought to you by Laura - Sponsored by Kylie.

10 can you believe it, i thought that i would be down there with the kids at work, around 8 or so, looks like i'm getting older :)

Click Here To Find Your Inner Vampire Chronicles Villain

YOU ARE LESTAT! LOVER.. HERO.. BRAT!
You are everyone's favourite villain. When you are not out hurting those you love you are terrorising the music industry with your own personal style of goth rock.
You are a hero, you are a villain, you are a brat!

This Test Was Made By JazZ MolloY
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